My date is almost a month away.
Earlier I had a thought. I might not actually want to die. My thoughts are dark and hopeless because of this illness. I want to get better, only I don’t see that happening.
At what point will the doctors send me to hospital because I can’t be trusted on my own. A week before my date maybe?
They won’t be able to cure me in hospital will they? Only prolong my suffering and delay the date.
This makes me want to say screw the date and just get it over and done with. Damn the guilt for my family that holds me back.